Little Letters (vol.5)

Dear Patio - I can't wait for you to get done this weekend, and then me and the little man are going to spend the whole darn summer living it up out there.

Dear Gordan Ramsey - thank you for mixing two of my guilty pleasures, reality tv and cooking shows, and making my summer viewing worthwhile.

Dear Oven - I am so in the need for a baking fix, so get ready for some sweet goodness coming your way this weekend.

Dear Lucas - I appreciate your desire to walk, I'm a proud mommy watching you toddle along the furniture, but slow it down, I'm not ready for this.

Random fact about me - I love a clean house, but having a child has curbed my OCD a little; I still like to clean up and give the house a good curb down whenever the child gives me the chance!



Only Child

When the hubby and I first discussed starting a family we were positive that we would be a family of three, having one child was on the agenda for us, and we were not too sure if more would be in our future.  After having so many challenges conceiving we were then convinced that one child was in the cards for us, since we weren't really sure how lucky we could get twice in a lifetime, or if we would want to go through the ordeal another time around. 

We both come from fairly large families, I'm the oldest of four girls, and Gianni is the middle child of three.  So growing up surrounded by children was a commonplace for us, and I'm actually a little convinced that our adverseness to having a large family stems from that.  We also wanted to be able to provide for a child, and give them everything we could, including private education if possible, and being able to travel, adding more children to that equation makes things a tad more difficult.

I am a very plan-oriented person, and I like schedules and routine.  Not that the occasional spontaneity isn't nice, just more often than not I like to have a plan with any situation I go into.  With motherhood I have realized that plans can still exist, but they are only a rough guideline, and you need to be able to bend the plan as much as possible.  So I'm bending the plan.

We are definitely going to have more children.  At least one more, for sure, I'm even open for a third, yup hubby you read that correctly.

We didn't even make this decision recently, now that the new parenthood fog is gone, and we aren't confronting sleepless nights.  Lucas was exactly 3 weeks old, so it was in the thick of things, when you're up all the time, and you're not sure yet what is causing the crying, so you walk, and swing, and try everything in your arsenal to get your child to calm down and sleep.  One night we had just finished giving Lucas a bath, and he was dewy skinned from the water, and his hair was all mussed from the heat, and he had just finished yelling through the whole ordeal of getting dressed, but then we picked him up, and he looked at us, and we all just had a moment.  I stood there with my son cuddled in my arms, and he was silenced by the comforting words we were singing to him, and I just knew that he understood he was safe and happy now. 

We looked at each other and just knew that we had to do this again.  There was so much love between us in that moment, in that child that we had longed and prayed for, and we couldn't phantom the thought of not having another.  All the reasons to have just one child were meaningless, when you look into the eyes of something you created, there are just no words.

We have an idea when we will be expanding our family, but for now we enjoy all those precious, silent and often not so quiet moments with our first born, and thank our lucky stars that he made us parents.




Wordless Wednesday - Twins

No I am not pregnant with twins, although I keep dreaming that its going to happen the next time around, which is a scary thought!  The twins I am referring to are my son and husband.  I like to think that Lucas takes after me in some ways, probably his obvious intelligence, and the fact that he has been advanced in many milestones, hehe sorry hubby; but really he's shaping up to be a mini version of his father.

When Lucas was a newborn he looked a lot like my side of the family, and sometimes his facial expressions remind me a lot of my little sister Gyselle.  Here's a pic of the little sis when she was about 6 months I think.  I don't know I kind of see it a little, but either way you can aww over her obvious cuteness!

Now, though, as Lucas is getting older and looking more like a little boy rather than a baby, he looks almost exactly like his father.

This is perhaps not the best comparison cause Lucas' smile is so huge here, and he's pretty much always smiling in pictures lol.  I think its adorable, and a lot of his mannerisms are so much like his father, the way he lounges, the way he smiles, the way he's been communicating lately; it kind of makes me swoon a little.

I'm one lucky lady either way!



Mommy Time

I know that it is important for every mother to carve some time for herself.  It may just be a pedicure, a trip to the store by yourself, or a girls night.  Everyone says it will do the soul some good to do something for yourself, especially when you're running around a baby whose only form of communication is grunting or crying.  I know its important.

Its good for a married (or otherwise) couple to make time for each other.  Regular date nights, an evening to themselves, after all you are a couple, as well as parents.  Its nice to have an adult conversation over a meal or coffee, where there isn't a little person in between you demanding your attention.  I know its important.

Its important to have interests that extend beyond motherhood.  You don't need to always be reading information on educating your child, or the next rage in organic foods; its ok to slip in some romance novel while the little one is napping, and heck if he's entertained playing prop your feet up and read a book with one eye.

I struggle with this all the time, and every day.  Especially leaving Lucas.  Its easier to make quick jaunts to the store, inhibited by the little man trying to grab my attention, when all I need to grab is some milk.  Or I have ventured out to get my hair done, and wax every once in a while.  But I'm always leaving him in the capable loving hands of his father, so its a little easier.  Not that there aren't several loving family members who would gladly watch over him for us, and he would be none the wiser of my absence.  The problem is I am the wiser, I know I have left him.

The hubby and I have gone out a total of 3 times without Lucas, on all occasions leaving him with his nonni (grandparents in Italian), and all times we left pretty much an hour before bedtime, and got home fairly early.  We went to dinner once, and spent the whole time talking about Lucas, we went to a charity night and spent the night with family and thinking of our little guy, and last week we went to see a movie and came home feeling guilty.  The last time we went Lucas had a hard time falling asleep, I'm not sure if it was because his routine was thrown a little from the long weekend or if he sensed that we weren't home, and that made me feel so incredibly guilty and sad.

I am not going to lie...I love spending time with my little man, and being his mother is the best job I have ever had, and most times I don't feel like I need the proverbial break from him.  Does he have off days where I find myself pulling my hair out, of course; does he have super energetic days where I find myself laying on the floor letting him climb me cause there isn't enough energy in me for anything else, heck yes!  But most of those days I find the hubby is a huge support to me, just giving me half an hour to myself when he gets home so I can shower and feel human again.  And honestly, sometimes that's enough, I'm ready to tackle the rambunctious little man that he is turning out to be.

Now that Lucas is getting bigger and more interactive we enjoy going out to dinner with him, taking him to the mall, and just going on family outings.  These family moments are what feeds my soul the most.  The hubby and I also make the most of our alone time, since Lucas is on a very good nap and sleep schedule we try to carve moments for one another as much as we can, even if that's a late night movie and tea in bed, or sitting outside and talking.

I of course don't discredit a little alone or couple time, and nap times are super sancrosanct for this mama, but its a work in progress for me still.  I don't know if those feelings of guilt will ever go away, or when I will be able to leave Lucas for a longer block of time, but I will get there eventually.  For now I just enjoy his little smiles and enjoy this time when he wants to be around me all the time. Can you blame me with a face like this   



Our Week in Photos (21/52)

The weather here was pretty awful this week, with a lot of spring showers, and getting cold by the end of the week.  We still made it to the park a few time, but got poured on one day, yeah that was fun.
So we stuck around the house for most of the week, playing and reading stories.  I've been mildly obsessed with Lucas' feet this week, but I mean come one did you see those crossed feet while he was in his high chair, or the adorable summer sandals.  Obsession is justified.
The Hubs was off a few days due to a foot injury, he's doing better, thank god.  Don't you love the pic I scored of my two men reading a bedtime story!
That's all folks, just a down home kind of week.



Little Letters (vol.4)

Dear Zulily - Thank you for the amazing deal on the doodle pants, they are super cute and can't wait to put them on Lucas.  Have you seen these, they are to die for check them out here, cute pic of the little guy sporting them coming probably this weekend.

Dear Dan Brown - its taken you long enough to write another novel, but so far its been worth the wait.

Dear (massive amount of) laundry - you were conquered...that's all lol

Dear House - I know you're floors need to be washed, and the you need some freshening up this week, I will get to it this weekend...I promise...maybe.

Dear Lucas' teeth - Thank God you finally made an appearance, I was starting to despair that the little guy's first birthday was going to roll around without any chicklets to see.  You are all adorable, and sharp!

Random fact about me: I'm always washing dishes as I make dinner, if Gianni is helping to make dinner, this drives him slightly crazy, maybe cause I may wash a spoon he was still using hehe



Lucas is 8 months!

I seriously do not know where the time has gone this month.  I'm sure its because so much has happened the last few weeks, and the amount of development Lucas has had is just beyond amazing this month.  We are moving into territory for sure!

Lucas started crawling, and he hasn't turned back since.  He literally took a few days to get the hang of it, and then there was no stopping him!  He moves around with such speed, and loves the fact that he can get to places all on his own.  His favourite game is in the evenings Gianni and I place ourselves at opposite ends of the hallway and Lucas races in between us.  Its cute, and his boundless energy is keeping me on my toes this month! 

He is learning to love independent play a lot more, although he still prefers to have me sit on the floor with him, unless he's truly entertained with whatever toy has grabbed his attention.  I love it when I'm making dinner, and he realizes I am not beside him playing, he makes his way to the kitchen and plants himself at my feet, or climbs my legs.  It makes moving around the kitchen tricky but we get around.  I need to start keeping a basket of "kitchen" toys for him there so he has something else to grab his attention while I cook and clean.

Coupled with the crawling Lucas has a new favourite activity...climbing and standing.  He will climb literally anything that will give him enough traction to pull himself into a standing position.  He recently started being able to hold himself standing on his own for a few seconds, and the thought that this may mean walking in the near future has me crying in a corner, cause he's growing up way to fast for my liking!

We introduced finger food the last few weeks and he's loving it.  Also we aren't really giving him strained food anymore, all his purees are course now and he seems to be preferring it that way.  He is loving chicken, as long as its cut up in bits and he can grab it himself, and apples are still his favourite fruit although he's loving peaches and canteloupe recently.  We gave him corn on the cob and a rib to gnaw on this month too, and he loved it!

He finally cut his first teeth last weekend, four in total are coming at the same time, front top and bottom, which kind of justifies his crabby mood lately, usually in the early morning.  His gums are still pretty red and sore, as they are coming through, but thankfully it hasn't affected his sleep at all.

Lucas is still sleeping 2 naps a day, usually a long nap in the morning, and a shorter one in the later afternoon.  He's been rocking his naps lately, which I'm sure is a byproduct of all the moving around he is doing now.  He went through a phase at the beginning of the month of 5am wake up calls, and it was not pretty, for me at least, for him he could party all morning!  Thankfully he's back to his usual self and is waking up at 6:30-7 now, and his bedtime is usually about 8-8:15.

I'm loving seeing Lucas' personality shine through this month.  He is a cheeky little fellow and loves to hide and play peek-a-boo.  He is pretty much always smiling or laughing at something.  He is in love with his daddy this month big time, its the cutest thing to see him crawl over to him when daddy gets home from work, and then pat him on the chest when he's picked up.  He's starting to wave, not sure if he gets that it means hi or bye, but he loves to just wave his hands at strangers when we go shopping.  He has experienced a little of the stranger anxiety this month, when people have approached him, especially men; he loves when children say hello to him though. 

I can't believe there is only 4 months until his first birthday.  He's is fast becoming a little boy instead of a baby!  Enjoy the pics while I go sob in a corner!


Wordless Wednesday - Weekend Fun

This past long weekend the weather was amazing. 

We enjoyed it outside as much as we could.  I was so happy that Lucas finally got to use the water table we bought him a few weeks ago, and this weekend we also got him a trike, and he loved it!  Monday we continued enjoying the weather and while my in laws put Lucas to bed, the hubby and I snuck out to catch a movie...like in a theatre.  We are huge movie buffs and we haven't gone since Lucas was born, so it was a nice treat. 

On Saturday we checked out my sister-in-law's new condo, and Lucas got to enjoy the swing his nonni bought him.  I'm pretty sure he was digging it.
Its been raining most of the day today, so I'm so glad we got to enjoy the sunshine while we could!
Lucas turned 8 months yesterday, so update coming soon on that!



A Journey

This week in Canada it is Infertility Awareness Week, and for those of you who don't know this is a subject dear and near to my heart.

When we decided to try conceiving we were so hopeful, so ready to be parents.  In the beginning of our marriage we had honestly thought the plan to have kids was down the road, maybe a few years, so that we could have time to learn to "live" together, and to maybe travel.  Then the desire for a child just consumed us, and we fought it initially, even started planning a trip and thought no worries we have time to get pregnant.  Well the concept of time took on a whole new meaning to us.

I had always had irregular periods, even when I was on the pill, but I never really thought much of it, cause things like that aren't really a concern when you don't want to get pregnant.  So after 3 months of trying to get pregnant I just knew something wasn't right.  Let's me honest after 3 months the honeymoon phase of conceiving starts to wear thin, especially when after every month you don't even get the satisfaction of having the monthly visit.  I sought out my family doctor, who after a month of trying some conventional medications, sent a referral to a fertility clinic.

I knew that seeking more professional help was a necessity, since there was obviously something not right, but having to go to a fertility clinic was my worst nightmare.  It was an admission that my body could not do naturally what it was supposed to do, give me and my husband a child.  It was a feeling of failure, as a woman and wife.  I know it sounds harsh and irrational, but your emotions are heightened and you feel at a loss when you have no control over how you feel, and I was very hard on myself throughout the whole ordeal.  Gianni was so amazing during this time, never once making me feel like he blamed me for anything, and he was always an unwavering voice of positivity and compassion when I needed it.  After all we were both seeing month after month go by without the desired end result, and it was hurting him just as much as me.  He can be a tough cookie, but one day I had just done a sonogram test, which was incredibly painful, and all I could do was lie in bed afterwards, in physical and emotional pain; and my dear husband tended me to and said he wished he could take over some of the tests and prodding I had to go through.  He's a keeper that one.

When we first saw the doctor, and he diagnosed me with PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome), which essentially meant that I was not ovulating, and that in fact some of my reserve eggs would turn into cysts during the process of ovulation, I actually felt a form of relief.  I now knew what exactly was wrong, and believed that with the help of the doctor and the medications I would have an easier time at conceiving.  Yup not the case. 

Coupled with the initial diagnosis, after a few cycles the doctor realized that I also had a heart shaped uterus, my progesterone levels were very low, and my body was essentially not very friendly to hold a pregnancy, putting me at a high risk to miscarry if I were to in fact get pregnant.  Great! Oh and Gianni's little guys were slow moving which made it just all that more inconceivable.  So we tried a few months of different types of medications, and when I would in fact ovulate the plan was to perform an Intrauterine Insemination (IUI), meaning that a washed sample of the hubby's sperm would be implanted right at the fallopian tube, too much information, yeah well I said I would always be honest, and try having a conversation with your parents about this, and your dad asking you "so did you ovulate yet"...awkward!

The worse month had to be November 2011.  My doctor suggested we be aggressive and he put me on an injection therapy to stimulate my ovaries, and it was rough.  First off the needles are expensive, and infertility is not recognized by OHIP in Canada as an illness, and in fact fertility treatments are likened to cosmetic procedures! Its absolutely insane but I won't get into that right now cause I will just sound too ranty.  Second the injections have huge amounts of hormones, and they do seriously odd things to your emotions, think having PMS on steroids!  It was also a huge time commitment.  This was true of the whole fertility clinic ordeal, once the cycle would start I was at the doctor's office almost daily for ultrasounds, and blood tests, it got to the point where I was seeing my doctor and nurse more than my husband sometimes!  Everything hit a wall about two weeks after starting injections, where my body just stopped accepting them, and nothing happened, again.  I was at a loss.  I couldn't even get to the point in a cycle to attempt a pregnancy, let alone see if the pregnancy would hold.  I got depressed and despondent, and I was just not a happy person.  The whole situation was putting a strain on my mental health, and I truly wondered if I would ever have a child.  I know couples go through infertility for years before conceiving, and at this point it had been about a year for me and Gianni, but anytime that would go by was too long in my eyes; and the fact that I wasn't even ovulating just created feelings of despair for the two of us.

So we pondered taking some time off, most couples who face infertility at some point or another tire of the process and are encouraged to step away for awhile.  Although I have to stress here, it had nothing to do with needing to relax, that was my biggest pet peeve during that time, hearing people say we just needed to relax and it would happen, that makes no sense when there is something physically wrong with you.  At the beginning of December though Gianni read an article on another medication, femara, and we decided to go ahead and contact our doctor about trying it, and decided that we would do one more cycle before taking a break, unbeknownst to anyone else.

It was really important to us as a couple to do this on our own.  When you decide that you're going to conceive its usually a step you make together, and no one really ever knows until you surprise them with the news, or at least they don't know everything about how often you are trying, did you see the doctor, and how are your ovaries looking this month.  So we just enveloped ourselves in a cocoon of love and hope and had really no expectations. 

Then it happened.

The cycle was long, I took forever to ovulate, and the weekend of the insemination was painful.  When I went in the morning of the blood tests I was nervous, this was the first time really throughout the whole ordeal that I felt it could have been positive, and I wasn't sure how I was going to feel if the nurse gave me bad news.  So when she called and told me I was pregnant, I didn't even believe her at first.

Infertility is sometimes referred to as a "dirty" word in the conceiving world, and I remember so many times sitting in the clinic, us women just waiting to be seen by the doctor, avoiding eye contact with one another, meanwhile we were all suffering the same unspoken ailment.  I myself had a hard time talking to family members about what we were going through, especially my sister, who had easily gotten pregnant, and was already raising her adorable little girl, throughout my ordeal.  Don't misunderstand me though, I never resented those in my circle who conceived with facility, I may have envied them, but the reality was I was more angry and resentful of myself. 

Today I have a different view of all that we went through.  It made me stronger.  It taught me things about myself.  It brought Gianni and I closer.  And yes it even made me a better mother.



Our Week in Photos (20/52)

Our week was pretty low key, but so relaxed and great.  Lucas has been rocking the sleep lately.  I might be jinxing myself for saying this but we haven't seen a 5 o'clock wake up call all week! Yup you see that first photo where its 7 am and my child was still blissfully sleeping, pretty sure that alone makes this week awesome.  Plus he's started napping like a champ too, I have so much time to do things...and sit down and read its amazing.  I'm pretty sure its cause when this child is awake there is literally no stopping him.  He is constantly on the go, and now practising his new fave pastime - standing!  He actually has been able to stand unassisted for a total 20 seconds now! Lord help me but I fear walking may not be far in the future, and I just don't think I'm ready for that.
The week started pretty cold, I'm talking long pants and hats to the park, only to get better by the end of the week, where we switched to shorts, yay!
Lucas has been loving finger food lately, and he's actually really good at it too.  He's never been a picky eater, thank god, and he loves his veggies just boiled and on his tray (cut up obviously in acceptable pieces).  I need to keep an hawk's eye on him though, cause he likes to stuff several pieces in his mouth, and then proceed to gag (eyes rolling).
Besides that I made a mouth watering roasted butternut squash and onion soup that the whole family loved, we chilled and went shopping in pjs (well Lucas did I put on more acceptable pants), and I made some awesome lunches with notes for the hubby, I'm a great wife like that hehe.
How everyone else had a great week, and is enjoying the long weekend!



Little Letters (vol.3)

Dear hair and scalp - I know you have been put through the ringer this week, but the little guy has taken a liking to pulling you, and well he's so darn cute, so I guess we will forgive him.

Dear pumpkin pie - yes I know we are so far away from it being fall (even if weather disagrees), but do you really need a reason to indulge in pumpkin pie...really?!

Dear Jane Austen - thank you for writing one of my favourite novels (Pride and Prejudice), and inspiring tons of other authors to write spin offs of Fitwilliam Darcy (don't worry Hubby you are my own personal Darcy!)

Dear Lucas - please slow down...please...you are growing up too fast, and there is no rush for you to walk...really no rush at all.

Dear Pottery Barn - Thank you for finally sending me the chair I ordered for my niece's birthday, almost 2 months ago. I love your stuff but I won't be ordering anything online again!

Random Fact about me: I'm always reading 3 books at a time, each book is in a different part of the house...nerd much :)



Mom Guilt

I just want to start this post with a disclaimer.  This is meant to be a reflection of my feelings on parenting and its personal.  I write it here cause I don't want to forget and I want to be honest no matter how difficult or petty they may seem in retrospect or to others.

I have to admit that I am proud of the parenting decisions Gianni and I have made thus far raising Lucas.

However conceited that statement may appear its one I don't make lightly, and one that is hard to make at all.  You see throughout these months since Lucas has so blessedly entered our lives, I have often found myself doubting choices and decisions the hubby and I have made as parents.  I know that this will happen for the rest of our lives, but my self doubt is sometimes a powerful thing, and I find myself at times debilitated by constantly questioning myself, and wondering if my decisions are approved.  Every choice I make I don't do so with cavalier behaviour, its usually one made with a lot of pondering, and self reflection, and wondering what impact it may have for the future.  I hesitate so many times, and then when I make said decision I worry about it until I finally realise that it was for the best cause our child is thriving, and he is a happy and well-adjusted baby.

This process is mainly driven by unresolved deep-seeded guilt I still carry from my breast-feeding decision in the early days of motherhood. 

During my pregnancy the choice to breastfeed was just a natural decision, one that I was looking forward to fulfil.  I had read tons of material on the bond between child and mother that stemmed from a breastfed baby, the nutritional benefits, and everything I needed to know about fostering a good latching system.  When Lucas was born and they placed him on my chest for that first feeding we both took to the process so naturally, and I marvelled at the seamless bond that mother and child are meant for.  He latched on like a champ, and though I was slightly sore that first day, I actually found the process pretty easy.  Those first few days, even when I got home were pretty blissful, and I was just so elated that I was handling it, and successfully accomplishing it.

Then I started doubting myself.  I wasn't entirely sure that Lucas was getting the proper amount of breast milk.  I was breast feeding quite often, and at times he was nursing for soothing purposes, since we hadn't introduced a pacifier.  So I braved on, and I started pumping as well, as I felt it would help stimulate and produce more milk.  I noticed that Lucas would stop mid feed and he would just wail so unhappily.  I would express the breast and pretty much nothing was coming out.  So I did something I had all throughout my pregnancy sworn I wouldn't do, and I gave him a bottle of formula...and he gulped it down, burped and looked so satisfied.  What did I do, I cried, real hard, and started questioning everything I had planned. 

My doctor said that my supply was really low, and that perhaps Lucas wasn't getting all he needed, that I could supplement if I felt that it was necessary, but that sometimes it takes a while for the supply to get where its supposed to be.  I continued to breastfeed and supplement with formula when I thought necessary, but then I would wonder what do I know, this is the first time I am completely responsible for nurturing a human being! 

It's scary, and though your mothering instincts kick in fairly quickly after having a baby, I was very emotional and hormonal post partum.  I was overwhelmed, and Gianni bless him was trying his best to be a support, but sometimes I couldn't even express myself properly and help him understand what I was feeling.  I remember losing it on him one afternoon cause he had left a cup on the table, screaming at him cause he wasn't being helpful, and then I just started crying uncontrollably, so bereft with exhaustion, and self doubt, unsure if I was starving my child, or if I was doing the right thing.

So I made the decision to stop breastfeeding, and switched to formula entirely.  I did see a change in Lucas I will admit, he seemed more content after feedings, and less prone to desire extra feedings for soothing purposes.  I rationalised that he was better off, that the breast milk I was providing was clearly not enough, nor substantial.

I cried so many times that week.  Was I failure as a mother?  Did I give up too easily? Should have sought out help for the supply problem?  Did I fail my child?  No one can make me feel worse than I did those weeks after, and sometimes still do.

Today I have come to terms with my decision, but there have been days when I wish I could go back and make a different one, not clouded by exhaustion, first-time mom jitters, and self doubt.  Today this is my biggest mom guilt to date, and it became the catalyst in ensuring that all future decisions I have made for Lucas were well thought out, and I took the time to make. Do I think that Lucas suffered from the decision to switch to formula...not at all.  He has continued to hit all physical and mental milestones on schedule, and sometimes even early.  I look at my son and know that he is happy, that he is growing healthy, and well-adjusted.  I see it in his smile every morning he wakes up, and throughout the day.

In the end I know that I am a good mother to Lucas, seeing him flourish is the best paid job I have ever had.



Wordless Wednesday - Rainy Day Snuggles

The weather here has been horrible since the weekend, I had to actually take Lucas' winter hat out again for our trip to the park yesterday!  The little guy is teething big time so he's very clingy to his mama, not that I'm complaining I'm also under the weather.  So nothing makes rain and feeling sick better than extra cuddles.  So if you're trying to reach me today don't bother I will be fully ensconced in a warm corner with this little guy.

Ummm hello! Could you not just die over the cuteness of baby feet, what a proper gentleman my little man is.


Praying for sunshine soon!



Mother's Day Festivities

I hope everyone had a lovely Mother's Day weekend.  Mine was full of family and love, just the way its supposed to be!
Friday I celebrated just with my boys.  The hubby made me breakfast and watched over the little guy while I took a leisurely and uninterrupted shower (I really couldn't ask for more, its really the small pleasures that count!).  The I hung out with my baby, the person who gave me the best job in the world.

Gianni surprised me with mom and family charms for my pandora bracelet, even though I expressly told him not to buy me anything except flowers.  I'm a tad spoiled by these two!

The hubby had outdoor plans for the day, but the weather didn't cooperate so we were stuck going to the mall for a bit just to get out of the house.  When you're with the ones you love it doesn't really matter where you go.  In the afternoon while Lucas napped I got some me time, just lounging and reading in bed while the hubby got dinner prepared for me.  We hung out together afterwards and it was just a nice relaxed day, I could ask for anything more.
Saturday we had the in-laws over for dinner, and it turned out to be another nice and relaxed day.  Thankfully the rain let up a bit so we were able to make it to the park in the afternoon, which was such a blessing.  My little guy is definitely an outdoor kind of guy and he was feeling very cooped up, especially since he's finally cutting his first teeth, he was a bit on the miserable side and in pain, so he needed the distraction.  Not that you could tell from these photos that anything was bothering him. 
Here he is all smiles with his nonna!

Gianni unfortunately never got to "meet" his grandparents, they all passed away before he was born or when he was very young.  His great-aunt though has been like a grandmother to him growing up, we affectionately call her yaya.  She is mildly obsessed with Lucas, and he equally very fond of her.  Here they are playing Lucas' favourite game lately of peek-a-boo!
Sunday we headed to my grandparents house to celebrate with my side of the family, and it was usual boisterous family gathering, since there are more people on my side, plus we are just your very typical loud Portuguese family hehe. 
I got a very special hug and card from my sweet niece, who is also my goddaughter.  She's just too cute for words!

Lucas is just as in love with his own godmother, my sister Lisa.  I love sharing motherhood with my sister, and I still remember how as teenagers we used to talk about this time when we would have our own families and our children would grow up together, it sometimes still feels a little unreal that we are already at that phase in our lives!
Here's us with my mom, all smiles, well really there isn't too many times when you will not catch Lucas smiling, I'm quite the lucky mom!
All in all it was a lovely weekend, with the exception of the horrible weather and the bad teething night from the little guy.  There are no words that can describe celebrating this occasion with my son, the little person who fulfilled my dreams, and all the suffering and doubt I went through to get to this moment feels like a faraway memory now, as I hold him in my arms.  Love you little man, that is something that will never change.



Happy Mother's Day

Celebrating with this munchkin all weekend has been a blast and blessing on my first Mother's Day!  Couldn't you just die from all his cuteness!

Hope all you mamas are having a great day, we deserve it!



Our Week in Photos (19/52)

This week was pretty great! The weather was pretty amazing for most of the week, and Lucas and I took full advantage with tons of walks to the park, and just some plain old fun in the backyard. 

Lucas' new fave pastime is standing, and using anything within his reach to accomplish that even if it means he gets stuck under the kitchen table (am I mean for documenting that before going to go rescue him lol).

We capped off the week with a family day Friday, just me and my boys.  We are busy celebrating Mother's day with our families this weekend, so today was just for us, and it was a darn special first mother's day for this gal!  Full recap of all the festivities on Monday, for now all you mommas have a great weekend!



Little Letters (vol. 2)

Dear Sunshine and Rain - stop teasing me with wonderful days of outside playing, and walks to the park. if you and the rain are disputing over who should be ruling spring get over it rain no wants you back!

Dear stranger at Fortinos - Thank you for being the only person to help me set up a high chair so my little one could have lunch, while I struggled to carry my massive 7 month old, his diaper bag, his lunch bag, all why the little guy was wailing cause I was taking too long.

Dear Hubby - thanks for always trying to make it home at a reasonable hour, so that this mama can get a little me time, even if that just means an uninterrupted shower!

Dear Reitmans - its been too long since we've seen each other, and it was nice getting reacquainted this week with some new duds for mother's day.

Dear Lucas - thanks for always smiling even when I know you're gums are hurting you, it always just makes my day!