Little Sick Bug

Lucas has been battling a runny nose and cough the last two days.  He's been in a pretty good mood considering that its a snot fest all day.  The only bump in the road has been that he's super clingy and cuddly, and therefore he refused to nap anywhere yesterday except with me in bed.

Then again is there anything cuter then a sleeping baby in your arms, especially since now that he's getting a little older he actually snuggles up against me and puts his sweet arm on my chest.  Oh its bliss.  Plus it was the only way to keep his head elevated so that the poor guy could breathe and sleep properly.  I couldn't even rest though I was tired from the rough night he had, little dude is starting to be a snorer, so I just laid there and watched him get some much needed shut eye.
He woke up in a much better mood, and you would never think he's under the weather.

My silly little guy. 
Today he's back to napping on his own, and feeling a little better.  Hopefully this tricky weather improves so we can head out for some fun in the sun soon.



Birth Story

Since I didn't start this blog when Lucas was born, I thought I would back track a little and reminisce about the day when my little one entered this world, a day that seems so long ago already.

During my pregnancy I had gestational diabetes so I was being very closely monitored by my doctor, since it is the general case that babies with diabetic mothers are large in the midsection, and may be born with low sugar levels, this makes the delivery process a tad more delicate and difficult.  So at 36 weeks I had a growth ultrasound to check the estimated weight of Lucas, and my doctor would then make a decision on whether an early induction would be advisable.  He was in fact on the big side, but proportionate, which was great to hear, but my doctor felt that an induction would probably be necessary to avoid having me deliver a huge baby, since he was already almost 8.5 pounds, 4 weeks before his due date!  To say that at this point I was dreading labour is an understatement.

Two weeks later I did another ultrasound and my doctor said an induction was inevitable as Lucas was weighing almost 9 pounds.  So began one of the longest weeks of my life, and made the anticipation of holding my baby that more incredible.

On Monday September 17th, my OB sent the orders to the hospital for my induction and I was sent home to just wait for the call to come in.  The next morning the hospital told me to come in at around 3 for an induction.  I wasn't entirely sure what the process was going to be, if I only knew what the ordeal and waiting would entail I think I would have tried to mentally prepare myself a bit better, since by the time I was fully induced I was ready to claw this baby out with my bare hands, and I was a hormonal mess.  I was given a dose of inducing gel, monitored for an hour and told to go home and wait, or like one nurse told me walk and have sex.  Nothing happened, except I kept waking up in the middle of the night to pee and then could fall back asleep cause of the anxiety of waiting for something to happen.  The next day I went back in for another round of inducing gel, was monitored and sent home again!!! Gianni took me out to dinner to try and get me to relax, and we went on several walks that evening.  I was starting to get some cramps but nothing real was happening. 

On Thursday I was so restless already, and the ordeal of heading to the hospital and being sent back home was starting to wear on my nerves.  I was called into the hospital early that day, and I was just praying for some good news.  After the doctor checked me, I was still not completely effaced, and I was barely a cm dilated, so she wanted to give me another dose of gel, at this point I put my foot down and said no, that they had to give me another option to induce.  The only other option was inserting a folly in my cervix, which is essentially a ballon full of liquid, which my body would want to reject and therefore start contractions, but it was something they didn't advise cause the process of inserting the folly was said to be painful and uncomfortable.  Now I have to admit, to those who don't know, getting pregnant was an ordeal for the hubby and I, and I had already endured several painful procedures and prodding, so I was not adverse to this method if it meant that it would start the process, so I signed off on it; and I'm so glad I went with my gut cause 5 minutes later I started getting contractions.

Oh contractions how I don't miss thee.  The sudden rush of pain that came over me was intense, and they became more bearable after an hour or two, but at first, it literally took the wind out of me.  Its kind of funny now in retrospect when I look back to those first few hours of labour.  We were in a small pre-labour room, and I was walking around and would all of a sudden just let out these great big wails and rub my back profusely.  I remember yelling at Gianni a few times for his inadequacy in rubbing the right spot knowing that my instructions on where that spot was may not have been that great.  Oh how incoherent and unreasonable us women can be at labour, but I think we all have a right to be hehe.  They finally admitted me and I was sent to my labour room where they started the pitocin and I could essentially start to labour! 

My mom arrived at around 8pm that evening as my second support, and I'm so glad she was there with us.  She knew what to ask the nurses when my brain stopped functioning, and Gianni was being a man.  My mom took this pic of me shortly after she arrived, as my last pregnancy photo, I look already pretty tired from all the inducing drama.

At about 4 am Friday the nurse on duty suggested I get an epidural, and this is my biggest regret.  I had always intended to get an epidural, but I feel that the nurse pushed to give it to me, and it was too early, and I wasn't dilated enough, which resulted in slowing everything down.  I got very drowsy, and I felt very drugged up, then I got some sort of reaction to the epidural and felt extremely itchy all over, so the nurse gave me benadryl which just further slowed the process.  The fact that Lucas' head was huge and was refusing to descend made for a very long day. 

At about 12 that afternoon I felt the epidural wearing off, and was starting to feel the contractions again, so they gave me another dose.  Something went wrong again here!  It became clear an hour afterwards that the epidural needle must have moved cause I started feeling absolutely everything, and the contractions started coming fast and hard!  For four hours I laboured all natural, and ended up dilating from 4 to 9.5 centimetres in those hours.  I used every breathing technique I could think of, and I did not hold back I grunted and screamed out in pain, sometimes that was the only form of relief I could get. I can't fully remember or describe what is going on in your head at that moment, you know the pain means that your body is doing what its naturally made to do; and you're aware that it all means that you will have your baby in your arms, buts its hard to hold on to that sort of reason when your insides seem in revolt. 

I need to take a moment here and talk about my support system throughout the labour, especially during those rough hours.  My mom was there the whole time, washing my face with cool cloths, telling me to not hold back when I felt like I should keep the pain to myself, and just holding my hands (I gained super strength that day and may have done a number on her poor hands).  I was so glad I had her in the room with me, cause she was such a calming presence to me and Gianni, and was always on top of everything with the nurses and doctors, so that I could try to be in the moment and enjoy what I could of the experience.  For different reasons Gianni was an amazing support to me, he knows me so well, and sometimes he would lean over and caress my face, or hold my hand, and I could tell he was trying to mask the fact that he hated I was in pain, and he felt in his own way every moment of discomfort I had to bear.  I could not have gone through it without them.

At around 7:30 that evening my doctor came in to check my progress and he concluded what I had been dreading, I was fully dilated but the baby had pretty much not dropped, his huge head was just not having it.  I can't blame him I guess it would have been pretty uncomfortable for him hehe. 
When I heard the decision that I would need to do a C-section something came over me and I just lost it.  Chalk it off to being on meds for almost 24 hours, and the whole ordeal I had been going through I just started convulsively crying, and telling everyone I was sorry like I had failed in giving birth.  A big part of the emotional breakdown was I had been desperately looking forward to delivering naturally and having the doctor lay my little man on my chest, and sharing that moment with my mom and hubby, and now I was being robbed of it.  I look back, and this is going to sound so foolish and sadistic, but I'm actually glad I went through those hours of childbirth, cause at least I got to experience labour, and I wasn't just thrown into an operating room never knowing what I was missing.  I'm not trying to glamorise it, I mean who am I kidding there is no sugar coating child birth, but for myself going through it meant the world, and made laying on that operating table a little more bearable. 
I finally calmed down before heading to surgery, largely because of my little sister, of all people, who reasoned with me in a way far beyond her years.  When Gyselle was born my mother had to undergo an emergency C-section as well, and I was blessed to be chosen to be in the room with her, making me the first person to hold the little munchkin.  Here I was shuddering in tears, and this kid turns to me and says: "Sylvie, I had to be born that way too and I came out perfect, so don't worry Lucas will be perfect too!"  What can I say to sound logic like that.  I instantly smiled and laughed and felt all better.
During the surgery I was pretty calm, just waiting to hear that wonderful cry.  Then I saw him.  I don't know what to say about that moment.  Relief that he was here, and indeed perfect as his aunt predicted.  In awe watching him in his father's arms.  Speechless from the tears I could see rolling down Gianni's eyes.  Blissfull.

 All I wanted was to hold him.  The nurses couldn't get over how I had just had surgery yet I pretty much helped them get me onto the bed cause I was dying to hold my baby.  Oh and how amazing did it feel to have that precious babe laying on my chest.  I was wheeled into my room where my mom was anxiously waiting to meet her first grandson, and we just cried tears of happiness all together.  It was late in the evening so everyone else met the little guy the next day, except for a very special guest.
A nurse let Gianni sneak Gyselle in, cause I had promised that she would be the second person to hold Lucas, and she was just so proud to be an aunt again.
Everyday since has been a blessing, and being his mother is more than I ever imagined.



Our Week in Photos (17/52)

Mon. Loads of laundry to fold/my folding companion/sunshine in the park/exhausted from his "walk"/matching baby and mama dinner of fish and greens
Tues. Somone crawled over and installed himself at my feet/handsom boy/shopping with mama/scrapbooking while baby sleeps/anniversary gifts
Weds. my sunshine/Lucas was here/wait for me mommy/daddy is home/anniversary flowers
Thurs. Morning cuddles/someone likes to stand lately/family parking...score/thank you ikea for the entertainment/his new tent!
Fri. Morning walk/daddy came home early and joined us at the park/silly faces/I will never go to the bathroom alone again/kobo and bed is a nice way to start the weekend.
Hope everyone is having a nice weekend!




Dear weather: Stop playing games with me and let the sunshine be here for real.  Yesterday was a cruel joke with the sun out, then when I left Ikea it was raining and it was cold!
Dear laundry room: get ready for a complete redo this weekend, I may go in there more than once a week now.
Dear Ikea: I appreciate the play area in the cafeteria, my son enjoyed it very much yesterday.
Dear house: you need to get used to having toys strewn all over your floors, the kid is here to stay, sorry.
Dear coffee: you have not been doing your thing lately, either that, or I need to replace you with something stronger.
Dear early mornings: I'm tired of seeing you so god awfully early, maybe someone can help me figure out why my child refuses to sleep past 5:30 lately, he's just so lucky that he so darn cute.

Linking up with Emily at Freckled Fox



10 Ways

Yesterday was my third wedding anniversary with the hubby.  We exchanged small gifts with each other, cards and I got him the Duck Dynasty book (man is obsessed with them right now), we usually are very generous with each other in the gift department but we are pondering a near future family vacation and/or some new things for the house, so we said nothing big this year.  Last year we went to Niagara-on-the-Lake for a mini babymoon slash anniversary celebration.  The place holds special significance to us, as it was the first place where we spent a weekend away together when we were dating, and then Gianni took me back there to get engaged, and we actually visited when we made the decision to seriously conceive (too much information? sorry mom lol). 

The grand gestures of love are nice, and material things showing ones affection are always a bonus I am not going to lie, but the reality is that I feel like we are not a once a year lets celebrate our love kind of couple.  Before Lucas we used to spontaneously go on date nights, snuggle in the theatre like two teenagers just dating, and oh no alert the presses we actually hold hands in public!  Having a baby has a put a slight damper on spontaneity, but I feel like we carve time for each other when we can, and we make it a priority to do so, because we feel its important to be a wife and husband, and not only a mom and dad. 

So here is just a small list of 10 things we do for each other on a regular basis that shows how we love and take care of our relationship:

1. Gianni and I always kiss before bedtime when we say goodnight, sounds kind of cheesy but I can't fall asleep properly otherwise.  We have gotten into arguments before heading to bed and we hash it out and kiss before going to sleep.

2. Gianni has come home with random store bought flowers for me, and I have gone grocery shopping and come home with a movie or treat for my man.  It sounds so trivial but I feel like it shows that we are always thinking of the other person.

3. Late date at-home nights.  After Lucas goes down for the night we have a late dinner just the two of us, no tv, no phones, just the two of us (and a baby monitor hehe)

4. Like I mentioned above we hold hands, and this might sound so corny and trivial but its important to show affection for one another.  Holding hands is a small gesture that shows we just want to be near one another, and sometimes that's important to remember, especially when it's easy to get bogged down with domestic responsibilities, bills, and everyday nuances.

5. Do a chore for each other.  Essentially I have gone to go take a quick shower while Lucas is napping, or playing with Gianni and I come down to dishes done, or the house vacuumed.  I'm responsible for most of the domestic stuff around the house, except the garbage so sometimes I get that done for Gianni when I know he's had a rough day at work.

6. Make dinner together.  Being at home now I take a small pleasure in having a nice home cooked meal ready for Gianni when he gets home from work, but sometimes I get all the prep done and then we cook together when he gets home while Lucas plays and entertains himself.  Now that Lucas is eating dinner with us, this is usually a nice time for us to talk about our days, and do something together.

7. We send each other sweet messages throughout the day.  Its cute to send pics of our obviously adorable son to Gianni throughout the day, but sometimes its nice to send him a message just from me, and he repays it in kind by sending sweet notes back.

8. We take an interest in each others hobbies.  Do I want to hear about the latest golf tournament? That would be a no.  Do I like sitting through a 3 hour football game on a Sunday afternoon? That would be a huge negative.  But on the flip side I'm sure Gianni isn't enthralled listening to me go on and on about a book I'm obsessed with right now, or sit through a sappy movie on a Saturday night.  However, we try to make time for the other person's hobbies, and interests so we can spend time together, and in appreciation of one another.

9. Say you're sorry.  When you're a couple you aren't going to agree on everything, and Lord knows we both have the problem of wanting to be right in an argument; so its important to sometimes just let it go and say you're sorry.  This goes hand in hand with talking about a problem and not shouting about it.  I have a bad temper I'm so not afraid to admit it, so sometimes I remove myself, calm down, and then come back with a refreshed perspective and can admit I was wrong.  Gianni's problem is not thinking before talking, he's working on it still haha.

10. Laugh together.  Laughter is supposed to increase your life span, the same applies for your relationship.

Love the one your with for their attributes and flaws, after all you CHOSE to be with them for a reason.



Wordless Wednesday - 3 Years

Happy Anniversary to my amazing husband.  Everyday is an adventure with you by my side, and I can't wait to see what the future holds for us.  3 Years ago today I pledged to share my life with you, to stand by your side through good times and bad.  You have held my hand. dried my tears, and chased my fears when I didn't have the strength to face them. 
No one gets me quite like you do.  You encourage me, you make me laugh, and sometimes you drive me absolutely crazy.  Everyday is a blessing by your side.

You gave me the most amazing gift in our son, and to see you as a father brings me to tears, and makes me fall in love with you all the much more.

Here's to many more years by each others' side.

Love you so much!



Lucas is 7 months!

Lucas turned 7 months yesterday, and I feel like this second half of the year is just flying by so fast. I thought I was being a little over zealous starting to plan and pin ideas for his birthday party, but I have a feeling that day is going to come a lot faster than I am ready for.

Here's my little man.

And on to some stats of the little man this month:
* Lucas is still loving his solids, and we have started introducing some table food, which he remarkably chews, even though he still hasn't ripped any teeth. He still enjoys his bottles of formula though, and is now having 6 ounce bottles, with an 8 ounce bottle before bed.
*Still no teeth like I said, but I have a feeling we are on the cusp of seeing them, as this month he has been teething real bad, lots of drool and gnawing on his poor gums. We have given him a little advil on the desperate day, thankfully it hasn't affected his sleeps...yet.
*We officially have a crawler! he made huge strides at the beginning of the month, but he was doing this random bridge type crawl and would only do one step and then fall down, but this weekend he figured it out and he is now on the move. I feel like he is even more of a happy baby now that he feels more independent, and I think walking will probably come to him early as well, since he loves to do so already with our assistance.
*Lucas is a great night time sleeper, and he always has been. He is still sleeping through the night with the occasional nocturnal outburst, these are usually him moving around the crib and talking to himself until he puts himself back to sleep. He naps twice a day, usually a long nap in the morning, and a short nap in the afternoon.
*We introduced a sippy cup this month, and its a hit and miss really. We bought one with a soft spout, and sometimes he figures it out, but most times he just chews on it like a teether.
*This month Lucas started talking as well, saying Mama and Dada, and making more vocal noises like pa, and va. He is definitely a communicative baby, and loves to have "conversations" with us, which I completely encourage by talking to him and interactively reading with him.
That pretty much sums up the big events in the last month. Here are the outtakes from last nights little photo session.



Friday Family Fun

Fridays Gianni usually doesn't work, so I'm not going to lie I usually take advantage and try to get some leftover house work that may not have gotten done during the week, and then I feel guilty about it cause I should have been spending time with my little family.  So instead we have decided to make Fridays family fun days, where we try to do something together as a family, especially since sometimes weekend are full of events and other family obligations.

This last Friday we went out to dinner.  Friends with kids had advised us that once their little ones got a little older and grabbier, going to dinner was more of a hassle, and less enjoyable; but Gianni and I find it more fun!  Lucas is now eating solids, and he eats his dinner at the table with us on a regular basis, so I will pack a made at home dinner for him, and I usually will order something that I can offer him some as well, especially since lately he has shown an interest in "table food", and a few toys to keep him entertained.  Is it a lot more "work" to eat out with a baby who wants to grab everything on the table, of course it is, but Lucas is a very exploratory kid, and we find that he enjoys people watching, so for the most part he is easily entertained; and its adorable how he charms the wait staff with his infectious smile and giggles. 

Dinner can only be great when you have dates like these two.

Sharing some tickles and giggles with mommy is always a good way to keep him entertained.

Someone made his own entertainment with lifting the tray from his high chair!

Two weeks ago we started going to family swim time at the local recreation centre.  Its timed perfectly for before bedtime fun, and Lucas absolutely loves the water!  We had pondered putting Lucas in aquatot classes but unfortunately the times conflicted with his nap times, a schedule that I have worked hard to instill, plus they only allowed one parent to attend with the child, and Gianni was feeling left out.  This way we both enjoy water time with him, and I have to say we all love it! This week we were surprised with company as Gyselle joined us for some fun swim time, which only made Friday fun that much better!

Could you not die from the cuteness of Lucas in his swim trunks!
Hope everyone had a great weekend.  Lucas 7 month detail coming up tomorrow!



Mama's Boy

So lately Lucas has been all about mama.  I mean I cannot get a chance to pee without the kid laying into some terrible hysterics.  The other day he was playing on the floor with Gianni and I, when I got up to clean the dinner dishes the kid started crying up a fit even though his father was right there!

When we are reading or playing, the toys will grab his attention for a short period of time, and then he remembers I am sitting beside him, and he proceeds to climb up my chest and bang his sweet little hands against me.  It drives me slightly crazy, but then he looks at me with his big brown eyes, full of happiness cause I'm holding him, and I'm a goner.  Even though there have been times in the last few weeks that his clinging has driven me bananas, cause it makes doing anything slightly impossible, I am fully aware that I should enjoy it while it lasts.  There will be a time in the near future, one that will creep up on me way faster than I will be ready for, where he will want nothing to do with mama.  Where kissing me in a public will be just too gross, where holding my hand just won't happen cause he will be too cool for that, a time when I won't be the first person he needs. 

So I keep telling myself that, and remember that I can get the dishes when he goes to bed, I can take care of the laundry while he naps, and making dinner with him in his high chair next to me is actually a lot more entertaining.  For now I'm just going to sit on the floor and let the kid climb till his heart is content, and I will smile along with him.



Letter to my son

**This is a letter I wrote to Lucas the day after he was born**

Dear Lucas,

There are no words that can describe what I am feeling right now as you snuggle in my arms (and forgive me that may actually be from exhaustion as well as being overwhelmed by your presence).  Last night after what seemed life forever you finally entered this world, and I got to lay eyes on the little soul that took my breath away, and instantly found a home in my heart. I wish I could have been the first to hold you, but seeing you in your father's arms while tears streamed down both our faces, was a moment I will treasure forever. 

But that moment when they put you in my arms...ahhh...this is what bliss must feel like!  You laid your sweet face on my bare chest and I could feel your warmth against my skin, and there has never been anything that felt that primal and right.  I was forever changed, this little baby will forever be a part of me, and rely on me for guidance, love, and protection. 

Last night you slept the whole night on my chest, as we woke every hour to nurse and you were battling mucous issues from the C-section, but I honestly wouldn't have it any other way.  You would doze off, and even though I knew I should grab whatever minutes of sleep I could get, I would find myself staring at your face, still incredulous that you were here and all mine. 

I feel like there is more that I should write down to remember this moment, and the feelings rushing through me, and yet I know there is no way that I will not remember, instead I just want to enjoy and bask in the emotional glory of holding you.

I love you my sweet boy.

Note: this letter could be a little more eloquent or even more coherent, but I guess its hard to do that with all the hormones running through you after almost 2 days of labour.



Wordless Wednesday - My Tall Boy!

Someone is getting so tall that it looks like we are going to have to lower the crib tonight! And he lifted himself into this standing position.
One day in the near future this kid is going to tower over me!


I'm going to be a boy mom

If I'm going to be completely honest when I was trying to get pregnant I really wanted a girl.  I have a much younger sister who I'm very close to and I always longed for a daughter of my own one day, a little princess who I could share my interests and hobbies with, much like I already do with my little sister.  By the time I actually got pregnant, I was just so happy that on most levels I really didn't care what I was having as long as it was healthy and viable.  But as the weeks went by I was starting to long for a girl again.

My husband right from the start was convinced we were having a boy, and he was very non masochist about it, he really didn't care either way what we were having.  After 12 weeks passed I slowly started feeling like this pregnancy would be good, and stopped living in constant fear that I would lose the baby (even if at times I still found myself dreading the worse).  So I started secretly longing that the baby would be a girl.

The week leading up to my anatomy scan I started having these strong feelings that I was carrying a boy, and I had some major pregnancy dreams (that was probably one of the weirdest pregnancy symptoms I had).  The day before the ultrasound I had a FEELING it was a boy and I was excited about that prospect.  While doing the ultrasound the tech originally had some issues getting a good image of the nether regions, even in utero my little guy had a mind of his own, and then she saw it.  Hearing the words its a boy everything just changed for me; I started crying tears of joy and I was probably in disbelief for the rest of the day.  I can't fully describe what it meant to hear the news, and I was maybe in a little shell shocked and I'm not afraid to admit that thoughts of what the hell am I going to do with a boy probably ran through my mind more than once; but then I looked at the screen and say my little man and I just fell in love all over again.  Its one thing to fall in love with your little bean when you first find out that he/she is growing inside of you, it becomes an it for quite a while and you start picturing a life with both a girl or a boy, not sure which scenario will be your reality.  When you know the image becomes clearer and I just fell hard for him.  After the news sunk in, the reality of a little boy growing inside me was just so overwhelming, I could imagine him, picture this little rug rat running around the house one day.

Growing up in a house of all girls this was going to be a new experience for everyone in my family, and I was just so excited now to forge a connection with this little boy, and embrace all things sports, robots and trucks.  Having him in my life has been nothing short of amazing, and scary.  I remember the first time I changed his diaper, I just dove right into the experience, and its been a fun filled journey since then; being peed on and all.  I have a pretty manly husband, picture work boots and overalls kind of guy, who loves his sports and is a huge star wars fan.  I have learned to get into some of those things cause one day when Lucas asks me to play in the sand box with him you better believe I will be getting dirty and jumping in right there with him.



Freeze this moment

I want to stop time.  I want to hold on to these moments with my baby for as long as I can. 

I want to make sure I live in the moment and drink in every look, giggle and smile as much as I can.

I want to hold on for as long as I can to the fact that he needs me more than anyone else right now, and that my arms make him feel safe, that he reaches for me the moment I walk into a room, and that a smile is never far from his lips when he sees me.

I want to remember that Mama was his first word, and that morning cuddles are the best way to start any day.

I want to hold on to his face while its still full of innocence, and childish mischievousness.

I want these moments to last forever.



Hello there

I have decided to start documenting life here in the Baccega household, now that its been overrun with diapers, baby clothes, and the patter patter of my son's feet. 

I will probably slowly post stories of things that have happened in the last year or so, our journey towards pregnancy, the birth of my sweet little boy, and just our life in general. 

My life revolves around my boys.  My amazing husband, who has been my rock even since I met him, and our adorable son, who fulfilled my sole desire in becoming a mother.  Sometimes life around here is pretty repetitive, dictated largely by the schedule of a determined 7 month old, but I like routine, and its definitely never boring with the little guy.

So for now hello blogging world, and to all future readers.

Expect to see plenty pic of cuteness like this one in the future.