Five on Friday

It's been a pretty busy week around here. We have been taking advantage of the nice weather and spending lots of time outside, and running errands. Lucas and I have slowly moved into our warmer weather routine that always includes daily walks and at least three visits to the park a week, sometimes more when we make it out in the evening with Daddy. Here are some highlights of my week!

ONE

Lucas spent a few weeks in April waking up super cranky from his naps, it was instant crying and fussing and wouldn't stop until either Daddy got home or well until dinner time. Not even a snack would make him happy and those weeks were plagued with some awful weather so we couldn't even go outside to ride out the bad mood. I'm happy to say that we are over that little road bump. Kid has been super jovial and playful the moment I grab him from his crib. We have been enjoying some time in his room reading some stories or just being silly and it makes for a more relaxed progression into our family time evenings.   I mean this face says it all, someone woke up on the right side of the crib!!

TWO

Growing up summer always meant lots of time outside, playing with water, and summer treats!! My all time favourite guilty pleasure was orange creamsicles. This week while at the store I spied a box and my big pregnant self could not resist and they made their way home with me. Just as I was about to indulge in some after dinner sweetness I decided to offer some to Lucas to see if he would like it  (kid is not the hugest sweet lover so I wasn't sure how he would react). Well he took one lick and the rest is history, and gone was my sweet.  I have to say though its amazing how much a pleasure it was to watch him enjoy something that is such a staple of my own childhood, and rather than grab another one for myself I just sat there and watched him devour it!

THREE

Sometimes Lucas is just so easy to please!  We headed to the mall this week to grab some water essentials for a mini family getaway and they have those contraptions that all parents dread and which brings instant glee to all kids.  The small mall rides that usually entices tantrums galore when the word no passes any parents mouth.  Usually Lucas doesn't show much interest but this week he was so keen when he say a car one, but I sadly did not have any change, or bills to even make change (it was seriously not a ploy, I would have actually gladly let him ride on until his heart burst with glee), I calmly told him I didn't have change but let him sit on the ride anyway since there were no other waiting children.  Well to my own happiness he was happy just pretending to drive the car for a good ten minutes.  Mom win!!

FOUR

Speaking of family getaway, we really have no means for an extravagant family vacation this year, with the new babe on the way, the hubby having a hard time getting time off since he's being transferred as foreman to a new job site next month (and needing all his precious time off for the new arrival anyway), added to all that we try to live on a very strict budget as a single income family so that we can always try to put as much in savings as we can.  So we decided that we will be spending the summer taking Lucas on several day trips to local attractions, with the exception of the beginning of June  We are off to Niagara Falls for three days where we are staying right on the falls and visiting the FallsView Water Park.  I cannot wait to see Lucas' face when we go to the water park, he's literally a bubble guppie during the summer, and visiting the splash pads are usually enough to bring him immense joy, this is going to totally blow his mind.

FIVE

I have been suffering from some bad back muscle aches, and to add to that I pulled a muscle in my left arm getting Lucas into a shopping cart yesterday.  So to say that I am looking forward to an hour long prenatal massage my husband is sending me off to tomorrow is really putting it lightly.  I mean I seriously cannot contain my glee!

I hope everyone has a great weekend, I will spending it with the handsome boys in my life, and speaking of handsome I leave you with this pic of the little guy.

Baby, You're a Firework!

Here's a few snaps from our long weekend.   We spent most of it outdoors whenever the sun was out!  Last year Lucas was too young to try and stay up for fireworks, but this year we tried to push back his bedtime as much as we could, he still didn't quite make it to the firework shows so on Sunday he enjoyed some my sister in law bought for his pleasure, and then on Monday after attempting unsuccessfully to stay for the local fireworks the hubby surprised him with some small ones at home.

His tiny little voice whispering wow whenever he saw the bright colours and lights shoot up was enough to make my heart melt in delight.  You forget how fascinating little things can be until you experience them again through the innocent eyes of your children.

23 Weeks - Baby #2

How far along - 23 weeks

Baby is the size of - a mango

Sleep - its was just ok this week.  Every night about an hour after I fall asleep until rough 3am I am up almost every hour and a half to pee, along with some hip pain it makes falling back asleep a little difficult.

Gender - Sweet little boy again!

Movement - Little man has been very active this week, and more and more of his kicks can be felt from the outside now, which I love.  I actually had Lucas feel the baby this week, he just kind of looked at me with this vague look like he had no clue what the big deal was.  I do love though that the baby seems to respond to his Lucas' voice a lot, and tends to give me his most prominent kicks when Lucas is talking.

Food Cravings/Aversions - Water, water, and more water.  Also loving on minute maid frozen juices, which is really unlike me, but I like this alternative to juice so I can add extra water and cut back on the super sweet taste, and overall sugar.  I had gestational diabetes with Lucas, and I am trying to be extra mindful of foods and drinks that could make it worse, since it is most likely that I will have diabetes again.  Still can't stand beef this week, so I stocked up on some extra chicken and pork meat to have at home, instead of red meat.

Symptoms - Same ligament and back pain as last week, but with some severe muscle pain on my right side.  I have a feeling I picked up Lucas in a wrong way and have tweaked my back in some way.  Its not a constant pain thank God, but when it comes its severely uncomfortable.  I have a prenatal massage this weekend that I'm looking forward to big time, and I'm hoping it will help ease some of this pain.  HEARTBURN!! Yup it has finally reared its ugly head in this pregnancy.  I suffered from some really bad heartburn and acid reflux with Lucas, and this time around its presenting itself much later, but it came with a vengeance.  I am popping tums like its candy, and pretty much everything I eat causes some degree of discomfort.  Not even milk seems to help, I avoided taking zantac or any other prescribed anti-acids the first time, so I'm hoping I can bear it again.  The old wives tale of heartburn being related to how much hair your child is born with actually rang true with Lucas who was born with a full head of the darkest hair, so I'm planning for another hairy child in my future lol.

Best moment this week - We had another epic family weekend.  It was a long weekend here in Canada, and we spent most of it outdoors between small bouts of showers, and Lucas got to see his first fireworks, which at first he was not too sure what to make of it, but last night the hubby surprised him with some in our backyard and he was much more interested.

What I miss - Still missing a little fruity alcohol drink or beer with some BBQ.  I may have to pinterest some mocktails for the summer to tie me over.

Five on Friday

This week has literally flown by in a flash.  Lucas and I have been busy and I'm sure that has helped pass the time.  Even though the weather was pretty crappy in these parts with rain pretty much every day we made the best of the situation and went out when we could and did crafts and puzzles to pass the time.  On to some highlights.

ONE

Boys and their trucks!  Lucas is a very typical boy in that he is obsessed with anything that has wheels.  I still can't believe that with another boy on the way my life and house will forever surround around cars and trucks.  This past weekend my in laws got this little four wheeler for Lucas for the summer, and to say he was excited to see it is putting it lightly.  He doesn't even wheel himself that much in it, he just likes to get in and out of it.  Love this pic of him with his new wheels.

TWO

Lucas' new favourite hang out is on my belly lately.  He is just so sweet as he lays between my legs and rests his head against his brother.  Its really endearing actually when he's excited about something and talking up a storm his little brother is already responding to his voice, cause its at moments like those that I feel the baby move the most.  Cannot wait for him to get here so the brotherly bonding can begin in earnest.

THREE

I have been really enjoying my morning coffee this week.  The brew of choice is Paradiso for Tassimo, I refuse to drink decaf so I limit myself to one regular coffee a day, sometimes a tea in the evening.  I love that Lucas is usually great at entertaining himself after his morning bottle, and I enjoy sitting on the couch or the floor with him, and sipping on some much missed caffeine. To add to the pleasure of enjoying coffee, and the morning shenanigans is this adorable insulated mug I gifted myself for Mother's Day!

FOUR

I had the luxury this week of waking up at 7am on Wednesday, when Lucas decided to "sleep in" for a change, so I took advantage of his good mood and the rainy weather and we headed to the mall for the morning.  We always stop by bass pro shops to check out the fishes, and he was just so happy to see them that day, it helped that it wasn't busy there for a change.  We enjoyed doing some summer shopping, and then made a stop at Ikea for some lunch and play time.  After Tuesday had been a write off of a day with Lucas being a super crank pants, it was nice to have a good day right after and restore my faith in my mothering skills. :)

FIVE

We capped off the great week with a family date night last night.  After a three hour nap we went out to dinner, and then some chapters fun where Lucas is pretty much obsessed with the train table there.  On the way home Lucas enjoyed his first cake pop and devoured it!  I don't think I have ever seen Lucas so quiet in the car before!

Hope everyone enjoys the weekend, for my fellow Canadians a much deserved long weekend.  I'm pretty excited to take Lucas to his first fireworks this weekend!

I am enough

Last Friday my sister and I saw the new movie Mom's Night Out, and while I laughed hysterically through most of the movie with so many of the mom shenanigans resonating with my daily life, it was the most poignant scenes that stayed with me long after I left the theater.  The protagonist is also a stay at home mom who is living out her dream job of raising her family, but somehow feels not only overwhelmed at times, but more importantly feels like she just isn't enough.   Not enough for her husband.  Not enough for her kids.  Not enough as a woman.  Not enough for HERSELF.

This is something I think most moms struggle with.  Finding that balance between the many roles in our lives, and in the meantime feeling that no matter what we are falling somehow short of the expectations.  When someone points out to the mom in the movie that she is not enough in her eyes only, and that God knew what he was doing when he made her the mom to her children, I was just moved to tears.  I was emotional for the clarity of the moment, for hearing the words that every mom needs to hear, for realizing that every insecure moment I have had in my journey through motherhood so far is of my own making and for letting myself be sucked into negative thoughts.  I question myself all the time, and although at times that is just part of the process of mothering, sometimes its destructive to my own self esteem.

I need to live up to this unspoken reality of what being a mother is, to fulfilling an itemized list that the universe has put out there for all mothers.  FALSE.

I need to realize that my child is happy, every smile and laugh that shines on his face is a product of the family home and environment I have fostered for him in the image that I have created.  TRUTH.

I need to be the perfect mother, wife, and woman; everyday no matter how hard that may be.  FALSE.

I need to be the mother my child needs, the wife my husband fell is love with and the one he falls in love with everyday (hopefully), and the woman that ends the day feeling like she conquered it all in her own mind.  TRUTH.

What we do as mothers every day is hard.  Its easy.  Its exhausting.  Its overwhelming.  Its IMPORTANT.  Its the most essential and important job in the world, and we are doing it for free.  We are molding the future generation, we are teaching children the concept of right and wrong, and to respect themselves.  We are showing them how to treat other people with kindness, and care.  We are taking care of defenseless beings, that rely on us for every basic need.  Our jobs never end, even as they sleep the night away in blissful dream land, we turn to the chores that didn't get done, we worry about them, they permeate my dreams.  Its a thankless job that I wouldn't exchange for any money in the world, and I will gladly continue to being paid in hugs and kisses, and the occasional flattery from my better half, who I know appreciates my everyday efforts.

I realize that if I have a better perception of myself than just maybe my sons will have a better appreciation of their own mother in consequence.

I need to continue living in the image of the type of mother that I want to be, and who I believe I already am.  There will always be another dish to clean, a house to organize, dinners to make; and through it all I am raising my family with love, laughter, and happiness.  As I kiss them all goodnight, and know that love has not faded, we laughed today, and we are all happy then I know that I did what I set out the day to do; and really that makes me enough.

22 Weeks - Baby #2

How far along - 22 weeks

Baby is the size of - a squash

Sleep - this was a bad week for sleep, between Lucas having some rough nights, super early mornings, and fussing for his naps I was one tired mommy, especially since I was literally running after the little man most of his waking hours.  You would think that being so tired I would sleep like a log when I could but I wasn't so lucky.  I scored some great naps this weekend and the hubby let me sleep in on Mother's Day!

Gender - Everything blue!  I actually bought a few items for the little babe this week.  Even though the bulk of everything will be hand me downs from Lucas, he deserves a few new items, plus I'm purging a lot of onesies that may be a little more worn out.

Movement - Same as last week, really active during the evenings, and occasionally during the day; however the kicks have been getting more and more pronounced.  Also I noticed this week that I never wake up in the middle of the night to kick and stabs, which was exactly the same case as Lucas.  Since overall Lucas has always been a great sleeper I'm hoping this bodes well for the new addition.

Food Cravings/Aversions - Still lots of water all day long.  Been loving on the carbs and fresh fruit this week.  Weirdest aversion this week was not being to enjoy beef.  Had it twice for dinner this week and both times it tasted off to me (the meat was perfectly fine as other people were also eating it, but for me it had an awful taste).

Symptoms - Nothing major this week, just some bad back and ligament pain, but I am doing a lot more walking then I did when I was pregnant with Lucas.  Also having to carry a 30 pound toddler at times during the day doesn't help the cause.  I suffered a lot from swollen ankles the first time around, and I had a little swelling this week but it was really warm this week and we spent two hours at the park one day.

Best moment this week - Mother's Day weekend was a really relaxed affair this year, and it was so nice to just spend time with my boys, the fact that Lucas started calling me Mommy occasionally is just a bonus.

What I miss - I had a huge craving for some raw sushi this week, and really really wished I could have satisfied it.

We are stuck in the house today with the rainy weather and trying to make the best of it, especially since an early morning storm woke Lucas up at 4:30.  Lord help me. on days like this I really wish I could drink more than one cup of coffee.

Five on Friday

Its been a long week for me and the little man.  We dealt with tantrums, poor sleep, and overall just sheer exhaustion.  I'm so glad the weekend is here for some upcoming pampering coming my way.

ONE

I have spoken before of my worries and constant anxiety over Lucas' language skills and overall development.  Earlier this week I had a huge mommy meltdown over it, I was overtaken with worry, and felt like I wasn't doing enough for Lucas, or that he was presenting serious delays in this department and knowing that boys develop later in this department was just not putting my fears to rest..  I turned to my mother in law who is the only one I know and trust who has raised a boy herself.  I'm so grateful for all her kind words about my mothering, and for putting what was really a hormonal outburst to rest.  I realized that I just need to enjoy watching Lucas grow, and realize that he understands so much more than he is able to communicate to me.  I was rewarded the next day though when we were getting ready for an outing to the park and as I grabbed Lucas' coat he turned to me and said "oh that's mine".  I really should learn to not have outbursts while pregnant and my hormones are at an ultimate high.

TWO

In my over zealousness at wanting to do as much as I can for Lucas' development I bought on Amazon at the encouragement of a fellow mommy blogger the Preschool Company Prep DVDs.  They teach letters, numbers, colours, shapes and words in a way that appeals to the developing mind. We started with the letters DVD.  Each letter is repeated often, and they become figures of words that start with that particular letter (example, the letter D becomes a dancer).  I had previewed the DVDs on youtube to see how interested he was in them before I made the investment, and he was mesmerized.  He even tried to repeat some of the words when we previewed the sight words' DVD.  We have been pretty busy this week and we have probably only viewed it twice, but so far we are huge fans.

THREE

I'm not one to complain about Lucas having a bad night of sleep since for the most part we have been really lucky in this department.  Since we slept trained Lucas at 5 months old, he has always slept through the night, even when he's been teething or sick.  One night this week he got tangled in his sheets in the middle of the night and it disrupted his sleep big time.  He was up from 2:30 until 5! He finally fell asleep in bed with me in a position that didn't really allow me to fall asleep with him.  Then the little bugger has the nerve to wake up and hour and half later and look at me as if nothing had happened.  He was all chatty and well pleased with himself.  Unfortunately nap time has been a bit of an issue lately too.  He fussed the other day for an hour in his crib so I was convinced that it meant no nap was going to happen, only for him to fall asleep in my arms five minutes later.  He knows just how to get his way!  Although I have been pretty tired this week as a result, I will cherish every moment he wants to sleep snuggled against me.

FOUR

Note to self: don't go out in public when your toddler wakes up at 5am!  Thursday I had errands to run and I was anxious to get out for a bit since Lucas had woken up at the crack of dawn.  Why oh why did I think that was a good idea.  First I ran into Chapters to pick up an order, well Lucas was none too happy when he realized we were leaving, especially since he loves that place just as much as I do, so he threw himself on the floor,and I had to figure out how to carry my screaming toddler, pick up the box that had fallen out of my hands, and make it to the car in one piece all while 6 months pregnant.  Yeah it wasn't pretty.  I still ended up going to Costco (Yup I was that foolish).  Lucas ten minutes into the shopping figured out how to climb out of the cart and almost threw himself onto the floor.  So I bribed him with a snack and put hims standing inside the cart (yup mother of the year award).  It didn't last that long, and I was literally almost to the check out when Lucas decided to show his displeasure for how long I was taking by grabbing a package of cherry tomatoes and flinging them across the store floor.  We made it home in one piece (barely) and then as I was bringing in the groceries he kept closing the door on me.  I really wanted a glass of wine after that excursion but I settled for a sugary coffee, and let him blow off some steam in the backyard.  I love this kid to bits, but some days he really knows how to test my patience.

FIVE

After all the ups and downs this week, I'm glad I made mommy plans with my sister tonight for some much deserved me time.  I told the hubby I wanted nothing this year for mother's day, just some time for myself.  So tonight my sister and I are going out to dinner and catching the new movie "Mom's Night Out", what could be more appropriate.  I'm sure we will spend more that 50% of the time talking about our kids, but it will be nice to have a meal with her without little hands grabbing at our arms requesting something from us.  Plus both my sister and I have been so busy and sick at different times this month that it will be nice to just get together and catch up.

Happy Mother's Day to all you mamas!