Four Years

Today is my wedding anniversary!  Four years ago I had one of the best days of my life (it is now outranked by the day I gave birth to our wonderful son).  We had a small wedding by Italian/Portuguese standards with 140 of our closest family and friends, and it was a day full of love, laughter, and just a downright amazing party celebrating the beginning of our lives together.

On this day four years ago we pledged to love each other through sickness and health, stand by each other through good and bad times, and to never waiver in our love for one another; even when the going gets tough sometimes.  I can honestly say that four years later, living and building a home together, making our own family together with the arrival of our son, and the soon to be arrival of our second bundle of joy, I love my husband more today.  He has held my hand through some really rough moments, shown me that there is no storm he would not weather by my side, and made me laugh more times than I can remember.  He is a worthy opponent in the best of arguments, but we share the same philosophy of never going to bed angry and after cooling down talking through our disagreements.  He makes me a better person, and now I could never imagine a life without him in it; he gave me the greatest gift in our children, and he is the best partner in all things.

Thank you dear husband for being my best friend, my partner in crime, for being an amazing father, and for always standing by my side.  Life is better with you, and I am truly blessed to be sharing it with you.

Appreciating 2014

I am still alive in case anyone out there was wondering.  I took a break from blogging for several reasons; I really wanted to enjoy the holidays with my family especially since this year Lucas understood just a little more what was going on around him, I barely took photos during the holidays because I really just wanted to soak everything in.  We were also busy with some house and family projects that hopefully I will be able to share with all of you soon.  Lastly, I just needed to recharge my batteries, and begin with a new outlook for the new year.

With that being said I am currently making some changes to look of the blog, and although the URL will be the same my little corner of the blogsphere will now be called "EVERYDAY JOYS" so next week when it becomes live don't think you are lost, you are indeed in the right place.  I just felt that this new name encompassed more my outlook, and feelings about what I write about, and indeed that is how I feel right now about my life, that they are small and wonderful joys that happen in my everyday life.

I have seen many mommy bloggers begin the new year by forgoing resolutions and instead picking a word in which to live their lives this year.  I for one love love this idea, because I hate resolutions, I suck at keeping them, and often find that I unrealistically put too much pressure on myself surrounding them.  Instead picking a word that should encompass how I want to confront the year ahead just feels right to me, and way more up my alley.

So this year I want to APPRECIATE.

I want to forget the petty things that often consume too much of my time, worrying me unnecessarily when I have more important things that I could concentrate on.  I don't want the bad things in relationships I have to be my focus, and instead appreciate the amazing things those same relationships being to my life, and how rewarding they are deep down.

I want to appreciate all the little moments I have with my little man, before he no longer wants to snuggle against me in the morning, or rushes to me when he needs me.  I want to appreciate and savour every new word he learns, every smile he bestows on me, and every moment good and bad.  I will learn to appreciate his tantrums and realize that they are part of his growing pains; and try to appreciate every strong willed moment of contention, since it really only shows how much alike his parents he truly is.  I will appreciate him in my life, because he is my pride and joy.

I want to appreciate my marriage more, and try to find time for just the two of us in our crazy lives.  Appreciate the fact that my husband is my best friend, and learn to appreciate the small things we do for each other, and stop sweating the big things, that truly don't matter.

I want to appreciate the life I have, the stability of my home and family, the things I have and not the things I want.

Here's to appreciating 2014 and everything it will bring.

Good Mother, Bad Wife

Lately I feel like I haven't been making the time or the effort for the hubby and in turn for my marriage,  and I'm feeling pretty rotten about it.   Our relationship is rock solid, I don't want that to be misconstrued, the core of our marriage is never unwavering in my mind,and perhaps that's why we can go through moments like these and always come out unblemished. The issue is spending time with one another, or the fact that my energy during the day playing, teaching,and caring for our child; coupled with dealing with all other domestic responsibilities has me spent by the end of the day.

I feel sometimes like I'm spreading myself a little too thin, and something has to suffer in the long run.  So patience goes lacking.  Time to recharge doesn't exist unless a 15 minute hot shower counts.  Time to think about going the extra mile just isn't there. 

So when the hubby gets home and is his usual boisterous joking self, I don't have time to indulge him, or I start an argument for the silliest things because today was a long day with an energetic child who is teething on top of all things, and I'm not going to lose my cool on my baby, so the other love in my life gets the brunt of it.  Usually I let this kind of dilemma roll off of me cause the reality is that 90% of my day is spent being a mom, and I'm kind of rocking that part right now.  I'm excelling at juggling play dates, crafts, and overall raising my child.  I'm at home, but its work; and I sneer at anyone who will try to say otherwise.

Result.  I feel like a big fail in the wife department.  

What makes me feel even more guilt ridden is how understanding Gianni is.  He is the one who will send me away to take a break and have an extra long shower, he always encourages me to nap and leave the laundry for another day when he can be around to help, and lord knows how many times I pre prepare dinner only to have him cook it when he gets home.  Yup, I'm a lucky lady.

Like most wives and moms I feel we struggle to fulfill our expectations everyday, but I often find those expectations are unrealistic ones we put on ourselves, and forget that we are only human, its ok that we can't do it all.  Life changes when you have kids, and you no longer have that freedom to just go on a random date night to recharge your batteries, or to indulge in a day in bed.  Most of the time we find moments to steal for just the two of us, a late dinner without a child asking for our attention, snuggles on the couch while the little guy is sleeping, cooking dinner together talking about our day.  I'm lucky that even though I feel like a fail lately, the man I am so neglecting doesn't think so, and is often the voice of reason to my unrealistic self-pitying rants. 

With all that being said, I have already taken a moment of introspection and made moves to put new energy into our relationship this week.  I was aware of the unfairness of laying all my frustrations on him, for really no reason, and we have found time to just snuggle on the couch, lay in bed and just talk, and making time for one another; even if its just a late dinner just the two of us after Lucas has gone to bed.  Its important to both of us to remember that we are spouses, as well as parents, and its important that Lucas knows and sees his parents in love, building a secure and happy family life. 

Just yesterday we were tidying up after dinner and I leaned in and grabbed a kiss from the hubby, only to look up and see Lucas watching us, and then for him to stand up and send us kisses. 

Melted. My. Heart.

This just made me more convicted in making sure that no matter what I carve time to show love to this first guy who stole my heart.  After all there's always going to be laundry to fold.

Five on Friday

 So I know I'm late posting this but things have been busy around here this week.

{one}
Monday I had lunch with my mom and sister (who work at the same office), but on the way there I picked up my youngest sister whose nine going on thirty.  She is the most amazing little kid I know, and I have loved every moment of being her big sister, and seeing my first baby be such a great aunt to Lucas sometimes brings me to tears.  She is so in love with him, and just all around a great friend to him, she may be a tad obsessed but he clearly doesn't seem to mind.

{two}
I bought Lucas his first set of toddler markers, and he had so much fun doodling for the first time!  The clean up wasn't too bad since they are obviously washable, and came off his skin fairly well, which is a good thing cause little man had marker all over his arms, and face.  I'm going to frame this first of many masterpieces and put it in my office.

{three}
The hubby and I had a last minute date night on Wednesday, and I finally survived dinner AND a movie!  I was pretty proud of myself I'm not going to lie.  I had been feeling a tad overwhelmed and run down lately, since I feel like I haven't fully caught up on things around the house since being sick, and then keeping a super energetic kid occupied.  We had dinner at one of our favourite fancy sushi places Spoon and Fork, their sushi is to die for, and they make THE best beef satay!  We watched The Mortal Instruments, since I just finished the first book in the series, and the hubby indulged me with my movie choice, but he ended up enjoying it as well.  Little guy had fun with his nonni, and only really asked for me when it was time for bed, makes me sad and proud at the same time that he realized I wasn't around, but thankfully he didn't fuss and went to bed like the champ that he is, and I was rewarded with extra smiles the next morning.

{four}
I have decided to embrace Lucas' love for dirt and just let him go at it this week, and I'm pretty sure he was grateful.  I know that boys tend to love all things dirt and rocks, but it usually brings out the OCD in me, and I break out in hives seeing him stick his dirt filled hands in his mouth, but when I decided to just let it go, I'm not going to lie it was pretty fun and cute to watch him go to town, and I may have gotten in there with him, and made some mud pies. 

 

 

{five}
We had Lucas' one year photo session yesterday, and I cannot wait to see the photos!  He was an absolute champ and the photographer was so in love with him.  She's been photographing our family since Gianni and I got engaged, and she is so amazing with children.  I will post all her information when we get the photos.  Highlight of the session had to be the smash cake, I had made a simple vanilla and whip cream cake the night before, and it was adorable that Lucas at first would only stick one finger at a time in the cake, but when he realized we were encouraging him to just get in there...well get in there he did!  He smashed until his heart's content, and even got his feet in there by the end!

 

Hope everyone is having a lovely weekend, I'm off to join the little guy for a nap :)

Happy Birthday Gianni!

 

Happy Birthday to the most amazing husband and best friend a girl could ask for!  You bring so much laughter to my life, and make everyday the adventure I always hoped it would be.  You are the great father I knew you would be, and Lucas is so lucky to have you, and he loves you so much!

 

Can't wait to continue celebrating birthdays together, growing old with you surrounded by love and our children! 

The little things

Being parents, its so easy to put your relationship on the back burner, and forget that the person who stands next to you isn't just your partner in poop patrol, or your sidekick entertainer, or even your back up singer to every child song you can remember.  He's your partner, period, the one who stands by your side in all facets of life. 

When you forget that, its so easy to let little things slide, or even make big issues out of little things. 

I sometimes find us arguing over the simplest of things, and often in retrospect silly stuff.  Its easy to let house obligations, and family concerns weigh down a couple when you spend all your energy on the little person in your life.  You find yourself nitpicking over who forgot to take the garbage out, or who left a dirty shirt just laying on the floor, or who forgot to buy more milk.  We are pretty good I must say in having responsibilities divided amongst the two of us, so that these sort of arguments seldom happen, but every once in a while you have an off day, and your patience is worn thin, and you put all your bad mood on that person. 

Being in a stable relationship sometimes requires work, but it doesn't feel like it when you communicate with one another, when you make time for each other, and when you try to always remember what made you fall in love with that person every day.  When you become parents, you automatically add to your home workload, and you may find things that used to matter or take precedence no longer have room in your life.  Your relationship should never be one of those things.

The reality is that even though there have been moments in the last few months when we have let worries and concerns strain our relationship, we have never wavered too far from the one truth; that we love each other and are each others best friend; and parenthood has only strengthened that bond.  My mother-in-law once told me that growing up she used to idolize her parents' relationship cause she knew that they loved each other, and that sometimes she felt they lived in their own world separate from their children; that their marriage was just as much as a priority as being parents.  When she sees Gianni and I, she says she sees her parents.  I hope that one day Lucas grows up with that same conviction of his parents' love.

In the last few months, seeing Gianni as a father has only made me love him so much more.  He lives for the smiles that Lucas gives him as he walks through the door, or the early morning tickle fests on the weekends, and the dadas that Lucas so liberally shouts out.  Spending moments on the porch talking watching the little guy discover the world, eating dinner together as a family, encouraging our son to learn and develop, makes me fall in love with the man that he already is, and the new one that he has become. 

You find time to hold hands while your son plays in front of you, you lean in for a kiss as your son eats between you, and you exchange a loving look while the little one playfully takes his bath.  Your son will grow up learning that its important to show affection, that you should love and respect that person you share your life with, and hopefully he will become an image of his father's model.

When you have those harried days of despair, when your patience is wearing thin, and you need to time yourself out; remember to forget the little nuances, and cling to the little things that matter, and always remember to laugh.